London-Chicago, 11th of March 2010
I' m going to start my 15 days days trip which included 5 flights and 6 different accommodations (without even counting all the trains) starting from the end.
My flight from London to Chicago: ...oh this is hilarious (as always with me, when I use words such as hilarious, funny and ironic I do not exactly mean that)!
First of all didn't get my upgrade as I was hoping and requested a bit late...I guess I found the wrong lady at the check in kiosk (she told me she couldn't almost breathe anymore as just before me she checked in a famous Boxeur from Ireland...so when I understood that she was in LaLa Land I didn't insist too much and concentrated on making sure she was sending my checked in luggage straight to Chicago and not to Ireland!).
What made me nervous then was that they started boarding my flight scheduled at 3.25pm at 2.30pm, which didn't even give me time for an express manicure at the airport spa!
Guess why they were doing that? After having passed the security already, all passengers needed to be searched and touched again in case they were missed before (at least no discrimination...all passengers! Which obviously took even more than 1hr and in the end our airplane took off at 4pm).
Another funny thing is that they created 2 lines: 1 for men and 1 for women...at least men didn't have to see women underwear and perhaps carefree in the hand luggage and women didn't have to see...don't know actually...what do men bring in their hand luggage for a long flight? I was going to find out as I was in fact (by accident) in the men lane, but a nice guy told me and another 2 girls that we were in the wrong queue, so went to the one for women which was much shorter and faster (as usual men take their time).
So well, they indeed searched all of us and opened all hand bags and shopping bags everyone had!
All this obviously did not put me in a very good mood!
What's the point of having Paul Smith shop, Prada shop, Harrods, a Spa, a nice Caviar Restaurant if we are not given the time to enjoy all that? I arrived 2hrs and a half before my flight: when was I supposed to arrive? The day before??
Which is all another story since the day before I was stuck in the airplane from Venice to London for about 4hrs thanks but not only to the snow! Yes the snow in March...in Venice, Italy! So much for the Sunny Country!
I finally got into the aircraft and guess what happened? And seriously, I'm not inventing anything...it all happens to me, believe it or not!
A chubby lady that could not speak proper English was in my seat! When I arrived, she was pointing at her feet...I guess she was saying that her feet were so fat that she needed to sit in the aisle...and me, with a great British control (learned after 5 years in London) and an obviously fake smile and killer eyes, I just answered:- sorry...noooooo!- and she moved back to her seat quietly...good for her, because otherwise I would have made her jump out of the window before she knew it.
If I was in a good mood I could have answered: - sorry love? Say it again?...say it again?...say it again? We'll never know...- and all the people who ever watched “Little Britain” perfectly know what I mean.
And if anyone is surprised that sometimes even me I can be a bit mean...of well, you try to have 1 flight from Venice to London that took 6hrs in total, then they don't even give you a well deserved upgrade on the following flight, they don't let you do the most important thing you can do at a London airport, which is shopping, then they make you wait in line for long time just to search you (what did they have to search if they didn't give us the time to buy anything anyway?) and finally when you think it's all over and you can put all this behind you, you can sit down and relax in your crappy seat (economy class), someone else is sitting in it! I'm sure that even a Saint would say: - For F...'s Sake!-
Anyway, my friends, now you know it...when you fly from London to the US you'll be searched all over...perhaps twice! And now you can bring only 1 hand luggage...no laptop bag allowed anymore (unless that is the only thing you have and you decide not to bring underwear ...or you make it all fit on top of your laptop, liquids included: of course if the little bottles open by accident you'll have to buy a new computer).
At “Apple” are geniuses, seriously! I got the answer to why the I-PAD was invented (many of my friends were wondering what was the purpose of it)...it's smaller than a laptop, bigger than a too tiny I-Phone and it's perfect for the airplane in this period of time if you want to do some work or write something like I do when I fly! I guess that will be my next purchase!
I bet my readers want to know now what happened in Venice yesterday!
Oh well, at the check in kiosk I was told that the flight was going to be on time, despite the snow storm!
The flight was supposed to leave at 7.25pm and at 7.35pm they announced 1hr delay! Then at 8.30pm they announced another hour delay! At 9pm they decided that we could board the aircraft: wish I didn't!
We could board the aircraft just because at 9.30pm they would have had to offer us a refreshment voucher (and the bar, the only one bar there was already closed).
Once inside the plane, the pilot said that we should have been able to fly in the next 20 minutes or so and that we were in a queue with 2 airplanes due to take off before us.
After 30 minutes the pilot then said that we needed to wait for someone at the airport to come with whatever name he mentioned to un-freeze the windows! Never heard that and I did fly with cold and snow before many other times!
Anyway, after another hour went by the pilot finally announced (literally) that he had no idea why it was taking so long and there was nobody at the airport he could ask what was going on.
Most of the people (me included) started to feel quite annoyed, the Italians much more than the Brits! Unfortunately -in this case- the Brits were more than the Italians and we know how polite they are!
In this occasion I would have liked actually a bunch of people possibly from Naples shouting and complaining with the staff...maybe they would have obtained something!
At midnight I had enough: I was feeling claustrophobic and had to stand up and walk so I went to talk with an Italian man and an Italian woman who were standing also (the lady was very pissed with the crew and after a few minutes we were talking to her she went to the flight attendant and told him they were lying to us).
In the meantime a young man grabbed his luggage and asked to get out as he did not want to stay there anymore, but they didn't let him out and had to go back to his seat.
So, finally at 12.30am, the pilot spoke to us again and said that he just found out that he had to sign up some papers before someone from the airport staff in Venice could come and de-frost our plane!
Some people in the airplane laughed hearing this...I didn't...I just thought...what a bunch of p....s!
I got to London very late...but I found a kind taxi driver who took care of my luggage, a nice lady at the hotel who gave me their best room where a plate of fresh fruit was waiting for me: the nightmare was over...and it was now 3am in the morning!
Of course for this flight I will ask my money back...this delay was not really due to the weather, it stopped snowing at 8.30pm...was due to a bunch of Pirla from both sides, BA and Venice airport.
I still like BA comparing to other companies: obviously it was a human error and I guess the snow in March in Italy made everyone feeling like it was ok to go cucu!
By the way, now that I'm about to land in Chicago, I wish I did throw out of the window that woman and her disgusting big feet...pity I could not do it! She did bother me quite a lot: even if there was an empty seat in the middle between me and her she made sure she occupied the empty one as well with her ass which was just about the size of Brazil.
Since this is the end of this article and I'm finally almost home I'd like to end it up in a nice way, mentioning just a few of the nice memories I'll bring home with me.
On my flight from Amsterdam to Milan there was a young couple sitting right next to me: they were kissing with passion most of the flight...and differently from what Americans would have thought or said, like “get a room” for example...I was quite happy! This is what I know...in Italy we do show our feelings and our passions...and I felt so Italian again in that sense...they made me realize I was finally getting to my beautiful Country...and of course I thought about my husband, who next time will come with me to the UK and to Italy and perhaps we'll kiss like that too on our way to the Country of love and beauty!
Milan was gorgeous by the way, more than I remembered, the hotel I stayed at Malpensa Airport was the nicest and the cleanest! I did like my executive room at the Kensington Close hotel and the great welcome I received from the hotel staff when I first arrived in London.
An advice to all my dear friends for a nice holiday is to get the Malpensa shuttle to Lugano in Switzerland: I went there for a meeting and Lugano is only 1h 30minutes away from Milan Malpensa Airport!
The beauty of the areas around, the lakes you see on your way there, the mountains and these cute houses all made with different lovely colors and styles will make you open your eyes to what art and beauty are!
I was lucky as I went there on a gorgeous sunny day with 15C! Everything looked just like a wonderful piece of art and it will be those great images that I'm going to bring back with me now together with my family, my friends, the time we spent together...all was so precious!
This morning before coming to the airport I went to Kensington Garden and had a great macchiato with croissant at the Orangery: the place is so elegant that I felt like a princess! This is what I love so much about London...the majesty, the history, the elegance!
It is, of course, a different kind of beauty comparing to Italy, but I love them both and they are both part of me: that is why I say my heart is truly half Italian and half British! Italy and the UK are my homes and now that I'm going back to Chicago I'll miss them deeply!
